Parents – GENESEE ACADEMY

Resources:

http://www.effectiveislamicparenting.com
https://www.commonsensemedia.org : For reviews on books, movies, tv, apps, websites…
Webcurfew.com
Netnanny.com : Parental Control Software
www.cybersmart.org
www.stopthinkconnect.org
www.staysafeonline.org
A Practical Guide to Parenting in the Digital Age: How to Nurture Safe, Balanced, and Connected Children and Teens

Guidelines for Parents / Guardians

Don’t give your child a phone too early. If your child is with a trusted adult, he shouldn’t need a cell phone. It’s when kids start to walk to school by themselves or otherwise are without supervision that they need a cell phone for safety reasons. The younger your child when she gets the cell phone the more you’re asking of her, because it will just be harder for her to act responsibly with it. Can you trust that she will follow your rules about which apps to download, for instance?
Agree to the rules, before that first cell phone. Most parents think a “contract” with their child is unnecessary and silly. But a written agreement is a great way for your child to step into this new responsibility without you “over-parenting”. When the first cell phone comes with written rules and responsibilities in the form of a signed agreement, young people learn how to handle them responsibly. If you ask your kids what they think the rules should be, and negotiate until you’re happy, they will own those rules.
Scaffold. Your job is to give your child support – like scaffolding – as he learns each new skill. So don’t just buy a cell phone, give a lecture, and hope for the best. Instead, see this as a year-long project. In the beginning, plan to talk with your child every single night about his mobile use that day. Review with him what calls and texts came in and out, what apps he used. Ask how it felt to him to use his phone. Did it change anything in his life to have those calls and texts come in? Were there any challenges as he considered how to respond? When you see a mean text from one friend about another, you’ll have the perfect opportunity to ask him about social dynamics, listen to the dilemmas he’s facing, and coach him about how to handle these challenges.Even once your kids have had a phone for a while, I recommend that parents reserve the right to spot check their messages and texts occasionally without warning. Erased messages should be checked on the bill. This gets kids in the habit of being responsible, because their phone use doesn’t feel ‘invisible’.
Talk and listen. At the dinner table, comment on news stories that involve cell phones, from sexting to dangerous apps to driving deaths. Ask questions about what your child thinks, and listen more. You might find, for instance that your teen thinks sending nude selfies via Snapchat is fine because the photo will self destruct. But does your child realize that the receiver can take a screenshot, and that there are now apparently ways to subvert the auto-notification that should tell the sender a copy has been made? And does your child know that having a photo of an underage person on his cell phone is illegal?
Role Play. When a young person is faced with a new situation, how should he know what to do? Role plays may be hokey, but they give your child a chance to think through the situation and his options. By planting those seeds, your child has more resources to act responsibly in the heat of the moment. I’ve been known to launch into parent-child role plays about the topic of the day, pretending to be a friend asking, for instance, “Hey, send me that photo you took at the sleepover!” to help my child consider various responses.
Know you child. The research shows when kids have problems with technology of any kind, it’s because they’re having problems that go beyond technology, and those problems will show up in the rest of their life. So if your child is mostly responsible, considerate and happy, he or she is probably responsible with technology, too.

Cell Phone Rules for Teens

Never write or forward a photo, or anything in a text, that you wouldn’t want forwarded to everyone in your school, your principal and your parents.
Set up your charging station in the living room …so your phone is not in your room at night.
Have a life. Don’t feel obligated to respond to texts right away and don’t text until homework is done, during dinner, or after 9pm.
Never post your cell phone number...on Facebook, or broadcast it beyond your friends (because it leaves you open to stalking.)
Never broadcast your location…except in a direct text to friends (because it leaves you open to stalking.)
Don’t spend your baby-sitting money all in one place. You don’t need web-surfing or ringtones. Get unlimited texts so you don’t have to worry about budgeting.
Don’t wear your cell phone on your body..and don’t use it if you can use a landline. Cell phones are always looking for a signal, and that means they’re sending out waves that you don’t want going through your body. Cancer? Maybe.
L8R – Later! If you’re driving, turn off your cell phone…and put it in a bag where you can’t reach it in the back seat. (Make sure you have directions before you start out.) Cars kill people.
PoS- Parent Over Shoulder! When kids first get phones, parents need to check their messages occasionally without warning. Erased messages should be checked on the bill. This gets kids in the habit of being responsible, of not taking that “risk.”
Nothing replaces FtF. If a “friend” sends you a mean message, take a deep breath and turn off your phone. Talk to them the next day, Face to Face, about it. Never say anything in person that you wouldn’t say Face to Face.
Always ask before you take a photo or video. Even once someone has given you permission to take a photo, ask before you post it.
If you receive an inappropriate photo, immediately delete it from your phone, tell your parents, and block the numbers so you can’t receive more. Posession or distribution of sexual pictures of people who are underage is illegal. If the person who sent it to you asks why, just say “It’s illegal. Let’s talk instead.”
Monitor your phone usage to prevent addiction. Our brains get a little rush of dopamine every time we interact with our phones, so every text you send or receive, every post or update, feels good. Why is that a problem? Because it can distract us from other things that are important but maybe not so immediately rewarding, like connecting to your families, doing our homework, and just thinking about life. To prevent addiction, make sure you block out time every day – like while you have dinner or do homework – when your phone is off. If you feel like that’s too hard, talk to your parents about it and ask for their help. There are programs that prevent your phone from being used at times you designate.